Naso 5778

“The Kohen shall write these curses on a scroll and erase it into the bitter waters”

(Bamidbar 5:23)

"The name of G-d, which is written in holiness, is erased on the water in order to make peace between a man and his wife"

(Chullin kama 1)

"Because the water checks the sotah, and if she is found innocent, it causes peace between them"

(Rashi on Sukkah 53)

Guest Work

One evening, Chaim was on his way home, when a man he didn’t know came running up to him. “Reb Yid, do you think you could do me a favor?” the man began. “Upstairs, in my apartment, there is an engagement party taking place. If you walked past the door of my apartment, you wouldn’t believe it though.
You know why? Because, other than the chatan and kallah and their immediate family, no one is there! It’s supposed to be a simcha, but the mood is so heavy in the room right now, because none of the guests showed up. It would be a very big mitzva if you could stop in for a while.”

After hearing the man’s words, Chaim agreed immediately to attend the event. He followed the man up the steps to his apartment. The man opened the door, and Chaim saw that it was just as the man had described. Chaim got to work right away. He wished the chatan and kallah a hearty ‘mazal tov.’ He began to sing a lively song, and encouraged others in the room to sing along with him. The heaviness that had hovered over the room began to dissipate, as those in attendance began to feel that they were truly attending a simcha. 

After a few minutes, the host approached Chaim, and asked him if he would say a few words, in honor of the chatan and kallah. Chaim attempted to protest. He didn’t know anyone in the room! Yet, he saw that the host was desperate, and Chaim felt he had no choice.

Chaim began with a dvar Torah, which he tied in beautifully to the topic of marriage. He looked at the guests, who were eying him eagerly, hoping to hear a message that related specifically to the simcha that was taking place. Chaim took a deep breath, and went on to tell magnificent stories, which demonstrated the chatan’s fine character. Chaim praised the young man for his kindness and sensitivity. He went on describing the young man’s many fine characteristics, when, in reality Chaim didn’t even know the chatan’s name!

When Chaim finished his speech, the guests, uplifted by Chaim’s words, began singing enthusiastically. The father of the kallah seemed particularly excited about Chaim’s talk. As Chaim turned to leave the room, the kallah’s father approached Chaim, and, with great emotion, said “thank you for making this event so special! I had no idea that my future son-in-law is such a fine person, and so highly regarded by his friends. It means so much to me that you came tonight, and spoke like you did.” With that, he stuffed an envelope into Chaim’s hands. When Chaim opened the envelope, he found 1000 shekel inside, which the grateful father had given Chaim as a gift.

Sometime later, Chaim heard that, unfortunately, the young couple had divorced. He found out from a rabbi who was involved that, far from being the considerate, selfless young man that Chaim had described, the chatan was, in fact, a selfish, difficult individual. He was a very challenging person to get along with, and had made life miserable for his wife.

Chaim was devastated. He was left with two questions.

The first was whether or not it was correct to praise the young man at his engagement party. The second question was whether or not he had to return the 1000 shekel to the kallah’s father.

Answer:

Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein, shlita:

Chaim acted appropriately in praising the chatan. This is in accordance with the Shulchan Aruch, which rules according to Beit Hillel, that it is appropriate to say at a wedding that a kallah is “na'ah vachasuda” (pleasant and appeasing). The Ran explains that this is permitted, even if the kallah does not meet this description, in order to endear her to her husband. Therefore, Chaim acted properly, in praising a chatan that he didn’t know.

However, Chaim must return the money. The money was given to him because of the pleasure that he caused the family. In the end, there was no pleasure resulting from his words. Rather, the family was left with disappointment and pain, as a result of the false hope that Chaim had given them.

Rabbi Dov Lior, shlita, disagrees on both points. He states that Chaim was wrong in praising a chatan that he did not know at all, by sharing stories that were merely a figment of his imagination. Rav Lior feels that this is not the intention of Beit Hillel, who encouraged slight exaggeration of the kallah’s positive qualities, not fabrication of events that never happened.

However, Chaim is not obligated to return the money. This is because the father payed Chaim for the positive feelings that Chaim generated at the time. It was not on condition that the family would continue to feel good about those words, in the future. (There is also no concern that Chaim wrongly encouraged the marriage of the young couple, because it is unlikely that he had any impact on their decision, given that they were already engaged).

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“They shall confess their sin that they committed; he shall repay for his guilt the principal amount…”

(Bamidbar 5:7)

Picture Perfect?

Rafi is a highly sought after photographer. During wedding season, he’s kept busy every night, as he spends hours trying to capture poignant, emotional moments for posterity. Before one particular wedding, he was given very specific instructions by the father of the chatan. The father informed Rafi that there would be many prominent rabbis in attendance, and he wanted Rafi to make sure to get pictures of the chatan together with these rabbis. When Rafi arrived at the hall for the wedding, the father reminded Rafi again of his special request. 

Throughout the evening, Rafi worked hard, trying his best to encapsulate the feelings of the evening in picture form. He focused particularly on the father’s request, and made sure to take numerous pictures of the chatan together with the rabbis. By the end of the wedding, Rafi was exhausted, but satisfied that he had done a good job.

The next morning, Rafi decided to get right to work, editing the pictures from the wedding. He sat down at his computer, and began to look through the pictures he had taken the night before. As many times as he looked through the pictures, however, he couldn’t find a single picture of the chatan together with the rabbis! Over and over again, he did all he could to try to locate the pictures. When that didn’t work, he contacted friends of his who were also in the photography business, to see if they could help. Nothing worked. The pictures were lost! 

Rafi thought of the anguish of the chatan and his father, and how disappointed they would be with him. He thought of a brilliant idea. He looked through images of weddings which he had photographed previously, and found pictures of the rabbis who had been in attendance the night before. Then, he photoshopped the images of the rabbis with the chatan. Voila! The chatan with the rabbis! By the time Rafi was finished, the pictures looked so convincing, that even Rafi couldn’t tell who had been in the original pictures. Satisfied, Rafi printed the pictures, and brought them over to the family. The family members oohed and aahed over the pictures, delighted to be able to hold onto those special memories.

Later that day, Rafi thought over what he had done. Was he allowed to photoshop those pictures?

Answer:

Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, zt”l:

Perhaps it would have been improper, initially, out of a concern for transgressing gneivat da’at (misleading someone), because the family thinks that the pictures are real when, in fact, they aren’t. However, now, after the pictures were already delivered to the family, there is no need to inform them that the images were photoshopped, or to return the money. This is because, in essence, the family received what they wanted. The chatan and his parents had pictures which captured the exhilaration that they experienced at having those prominent rabbis attend the wedding, even though the pictures themselves were not real.

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Story related to the haftorah

The following story was related to Rabbi Simcha Kook, shlita (presently the Chief Rabbi of Rechovot), by Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l.

Rabbi Auerbach recounted that, on one of the occasions that he ate seuda shlishit with Maran Harav Kook, zt”l, a Jew from Lodz was there, as well. The man stated sorrowfully that, in the early years of his marriage, he had a number of children, yet, tragically, none of them survived childhood, r”l. When his wife was expecting again, he went to the Ostrovtza Rebbe, zt”l, for guidance. The rebbe advised the young man that when the child would be born, he should name the baby a name from the haftarah of that week.

The man was overjoyed when, several months later, the week of Parshat Nasso, his wife gave birth to a baby girl. He was eager to carry out the rebbe’s advice, and opened a

Chumash to the haftarah of Parshat Nasso. After reading through the entire haftarah, he was left in a quandary. How could he name his daughter one of the names from the haftarah? The only names mentioned there are those of Shimshon and his father, Manoach!

The perplexed young man hurried to the rabbi of Lodz, Rabbi Eliyahu Chaim Meisel, and asked him how to proceed. Rabbi Meisel answered immediately that there is no question! Shimshon’s mother is mentioned in the haftarah, and the Gemara states (Baba Batra 91) that her name was Tzlalponit.

Despite the man’s hesitation to name his daughter such an uncommon name, he followed the instructions of Rabbi Meisel. The man concluded by saying that, baruch Hashem, his daughter was healthy and survived to adulthood.

When Rav Kook, zt”l, heard this story, he exclaimed with wonder “Now I understand the pshat of the Maharshal! In Chochmat Shlomo, on that Gemara that you mentioned, the Maharshal states that ‘it (the name Tzlalponit) is good for ruach ra’ah (a bad spirit).’ Obviously, the Ostrovtza Rebbe understood this through ruach hakodesh (Divine inspiration).”

When he concluded the story, Rabbi Auerbach said to Rabbi Kook “I was amazed at the broad knowledge of Rav Kook, zt”l. Most of us would barely notice what appears to be a minor comment of the Maharshal, because it does not directly impact our understanding of the Gemara or Tosafot. Yet, for the Rav, it was at his fingertips!”

שבת שלום!

Translated from Hebrew by Avigail Kirsch