"לא תונו איש את עמיתו" - באונאת דברים.
הא כיצד? אם היה בעל תשובה אל יאמר לו: זכור מעשיך הראשונים; אם היה בן גרים אל יאמר לו: זכור מעשה אבותיך; אם היה גר ובא ללמוד תורה אל יאמר לו: פה שאכל נבילות וטריפות, שקצים ורמשים בא ללמוד תורה שנאמרה מפי הגבורה...
(בבא מציעא דף נח עמוד ב)
The “Goalie”
If you passed Meni on the street today you would see a religious looking man running to his evening kollel. Perhaps, you might see him wheeling his two small children to the nursery school. It’s not easy to imagine that this wasn’t always his life…
When Meni was still a young boy, he played soccer, as many boys do. In time, it became clear that he
was a star player destined for soccer greatness. He advanced from playing the position of goalie on local teams to being sought after by national teams-which meant playing and practicing all week- including Shabbat.
was a star player destined for soccer greatness. He advanced from playing the position of goalie on local teams to being sought after by national teams-which meant playing and practicing all week- including Shabbat.
He was adored by fans and feared by the competition. The formidable Meni earned the nickname “The Goalie”.
Over the next few years, Meni started to observe Torah and Mitzvot and chose to forfeit the glory and fame of being a professional soccer player. He had no regrets about this.
The only problem now was that his friends from yeshivah, would call him by his nickname (“The Goalie”). One of the yeshivah students explained to the others that he is uncertain if it was permissible. Maybe it would be hurtful to remind him of his younger days when he was not yet Shomer Shabbat. Maybe they shouldn’t call their friend- “the Goalie”?Answer:
Rav Yitzchak Zilberstein Shlita:
It would seem that calling Meni by his nickname would be forbidden as it is written in the Shulchan Aruch (Ch. 4, section 4): "What is considered אונאת דברים (verbal hurt)?... if his friend was a baal teshuvah, he shall not tell him “remember what you used to do". Therefore, if he is ashamed of this (that he was once a sinner), it IS forbidden.
However, it seems to be up to the individual, in this case. If he is not ashamed of his nickname, because he is proud that he left his former life style behind and has since become a Torah scholar, then his friends may call him "The Goalie"( since it doesn’t upset him but rather gives him a good feeling ).
