"זאת תהיה תורת המצורע" (יד,ב) -
"אמר ר"ל: מאי דכתיב זאת תהיה תורת המצורע, זאת תהיה תורתו של מוציא שם רע" (ערכין טו)
Self Defense
Shlomi had a good job in a pleasant office. He was very hardworking and successful. Until…one morning his coworker in the adjacent cubicle glared at him with contempt. Then, at lunch, he heard other coworkers whispering and pointing at him. The kind receptionist reluctantly shared with Shlomi that Eli (presumably jealous of Shlomi’s success) started a false rumor in the office that Shlomi committed a serious offense.
Shlomi promptly went over to his manager, Dovid, to deny this outright lie and to clarify that he was innocent but Dovid refused to hear and told him that such an action is unacceptable in this workplace. Dovid continued to say that ordinarily this would be grounds for dismissal, although he was willing to give Shlomi another chance.
Shlomi promptly went over to his manager, Dovid, to deny this outright lie and to clarify that he was innocent but Dovid refused to hear and told him that such an action is unacceptable in this workplace. Dovid continued to say that ordinarily this would be grounds for dismissal, although he was willing to give Shlomi another chance.
Shlomi came home from work that day smarting from Dovid’s reprimand, disappointed that his coworkers believed the untrue rumor, and very angry at Eli for circulating it.
Shlomi reasoned that in order to save his job (and get even with Eli) he should manufacture and then circulate an untrue rumor about Eli! Shlomi decided to ask his rabbi if he may do this.
Answer:
Rabbi Asher Weiss shlita:
According to the Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah 338) when one degrades one's fellow man, by insulting or injuring him, the other person IS permitted to respond and even to humiliate him in return; The Torah did not command the victim to be a “useless stone” that does not respond. Additionally, one’s silence in refuting the lie could be misinterpreted as acquiescence.
The Sefer Hachinuch guidelines suggest that in responding one should not be very angry, and should respond pleasantly.
There exists, however, another category of people who righteously choose not to respond to those who despise them (for fear that the anger will prevail over them, and will reach places that are not good…);
The sages in Mesechet Shabat contend that “those who are insulted and do not return the insult are very great and worthy of praise”
The summary according to the Sefer HaChinuch is that it is permitted to respond to one that humiliates and humiliate him back.
And, that it is best to respond pleasantly and not be very angry.
And there are even tzadikim that do not respond at all.
Here, in our case, Rabbi Asher Weiss concluded that if we knew for certain that the story is as Shlomi says, (and the details are accurate), then he is allowed to respond and lie about Eli to the manager (if this will secure Shlomi’s job and livelihood). But Rabbi Asher Weiss added: "I have good advice to give to you, Shlomi; it is best to be among those who are insulted and do not insult in return, and those who are shamed and do not respond, and to trust that Hashem will protect him from those who intend to harm him.
Shabbat Shalom!
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Compiled by Rabbi Daniel Kirsch
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